She said,     “no”

It doesn’t mater now.

Not a thing just, don’t care

And every thought before is bare.

But here I am, to think I’d_
I don’t know.
It was a Friday evening,

Maybe Saturday, 

The sun rose and set simultaneously.

Flowers bloomed and leaves fell to a bloody gold shag.

Birds sang in the marbled blue.

No,

Sunday morning, 

Lightheaded watching snowflakes grow towards me in descending crystal flocks.

She looked me in the eye. 

When years stagnate. 

She laughed and cried;

So did I, too,

I did inside.

My burgeoning blood circled round inside me and through out.

Helium filled my chest.

My hand held out.

She took it, cheeks flushed and tight lipped.

Nothing else existed then, just her two neon blues.

I was lost within, when, she invited me in and, 

And no question or doubt did she choose.

There was no other place

I’d ever wanted so 

Or I could remember.

We walked on plush

To a cotton candied carousel

Where I showed her my sins 

Wordless perfections

And then,

She leaned in.

I felt her heart race against mine.

She looked up,

Held her breath and bit her bottom lip.

Eyes like crystal balls

I saw us dancing in.

She was mine.

Brought to life in visceral openings.  

Meant to be from prodigals birth.

Peace comes to those who find it first.

Longing embrace to taste,

Vulnerable to daggers fate

Then_
She said_ “no”

Not to me, thinking out loud or purposely.

The halted pulse,

A distant stare.

Consumed in her eyes

I was, 

Then I died.

No lives flashed before me.

No bright flash or shining doorway.

Just her black eyes.

A tear,

Beneath her breath a cry,

Looking away to far off jaded skies.

Just her black eyes.

Their all I see….

 

2 thoughts on “She said,     “no”

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